


Bizarre Lives

by DavidB1000



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Multi, Nora Gets Traumatized, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Sexy Times, so to speak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DavidB1000/pseuds/DavidB1000
Summary: A Flash story. Sort of. Barry gets struck by lightning, and develops a very unusual side effect. One Iris and Caitlin help him with. No one wants anyone to suffer from Priapasm via a lightning strike. Especially with how it works. :)





	Bizarre Lives

The first thing Barry noticed when he woke up was a headache. The second thing he noticed he was lying in a hospital bed at S.T.A.R. Labs.  
He winced. “I really don't feel good.”

Iris walked over quickly. “Boy am I glad you're back!”

“What hit me? A truck driven by Eobard?” Barry winced.

“No, lightning struck you.” Caitlin spoke.

“Lightning? Really? Huh.” Barry grinned. “I mean, this is hilarious in a way.” 

Iris hugged him. “I'm glad you're okay.”

“I'm glad I'm okay too.” Barry spoke and shifted his body. Which revealed an interesting problem he had.

Caitlin blinked. “Uh, Barry...”

Iris looked down and saw Barry's erection poking against the sheet. “Wow, Barry, you're really happy to see me.” She grinned.

Barry winced and then grinned. “Dear Penthouse, I am the Flash. I did not expect to write to you...” 

“No.” Iris grinned. “Look, I'm not sure why you're so happy, but I'm not touching it here. The last thing I want is to have my dad walk in on that.” 

Barry nodded. “I'm sure it will go away soon.” 

Caitlin smiled. “Honestly, Barry, paralysis of muscles can stop blood flow, so it could be the lightning strike paralyzed the muscles in your lower torso and your crotch.”

“Okay.” Barry spoke. 

&^&

An hour later....

Barry winced. “Okay, this is not going away, and it's starting to not feel good.”  
No one was in the room to hear him, and he grumbled. “Why me?”

Ralph walked in and grinned. “Hey, Barry. I heard lightning always strikes you twice.”

Barry nodded, the joke wasn't that bad, he had to admit. “I'm not having a good day. Can you get Iris.”

“Sure, I saw them going off to the training room together.” Ralph spoke. “Makes you think.” He then grinned.

Barry couldn't help but grin at the image he got in his mind of Caitlin and Iris doing naked training. Hopefully he could see that in person, if they ever did that. He'd honestly find it hilarious if he ever walked in on Caitlin and Iris having sex. 

&^&

A short time later, Iris walked into the room, and over to Barry. “Honey, what's wrong?”

Barry winced. “My new found never ending erection powers are starting to hurt.” 

Iris looked around and then quickly tucked a hand under the sheets. After a brief moment, she found his erection and started to stroke it. 

Barry groaned. “Okay, I like this.”

It wasn't long before he came, and he groaned. “Wow. Iris, that was something else.”

Iris grinned and moved her hand back out from under the covers. She licked her fingers clean, which made Barry groan even more, that was something she had never done before, and then said. “I love you, Barry.”

“Can I have Caitlin do this too?” Barry smiled broadly.

“Maybe.” Iris smirked. She knew full well what Barry needed now.  
“Okay.” Barry groaned. “Wow. I mean, I am still a bit too hard.”

Iris nodded. “Well, let's see here...”

She walked out of the room, and returned a moment later with Caitlin. Caitlin walked over to Barry and smiled. “Iris had an interesting plan.”

She lifted up the sheets and smiled. “Well, Barry, you've been keeping a secret from me.”

“I'm not John Holmes.” Barry grinned.

Iris smirked. “Regardless, Caitlin will help you out too.” 

Caitlin nodded and leaned over and began to suck on Barry's cock.  
Iris stood in front of her, blocking anyone's view.

Barry groaned, and eventually came in Caitlin's mouth. Caitlin swallowed it all, got up, and kissed Iris, spreading the remaining cum into Iris's mouth.

Iris smiled and Barry grinned. “I must be hallucinating, but it's wonderful.”

“No hallucinations here, Barry. Iris and I got a little close when you were in the Speed Force.” Caitlin smiled.

“I don't blame you, Iris.” Barry nodded, actually happy that his theory of Caitlin and Iris getting together was a thing. He had never mentioned it before to Iris, because he truly didn't know how to bring it up.  
Iris blushed. “Still, I couldn't really find the way to tell you.”

“I can understand that. 'So, Barry, while you were in the speed force, I sat on Caitlin's face and told her how much I loved her.” Barry grinned.

Iris groaned. “That was bad.”

Caitlin laughed. “But it's accurate.”

Iris groaned again. “Regardless, we're here for you, Barry.”  
“Well, I don't want Oliver to help me with this.” Barry smiled.

Caitlin grinned. “Okay, that was pretty good, Barry.”

“No, no, no. I'm pretty sure I would only call on Felicity to help with this.” Iris smirked.

Barry grinned. “Best wife ever.”

Caitlin laughed. “Wow, that's good, Barry.”

“Maybe while we're at it, we can get Jesse's help.” Iris grinned.  
“No, no, I don't want Wally to beat me up.” Barry laughed.

“I don't think he would.” Caitlin grinned.

&^&

Half an hour later, and several moments of fun with Iris and Caitlin later, Barry was relaxing slowly but surely. Iris was currently stroking his cock, while Caitlin was sucking on the tip

Perhaps they should have made sure the door was locked as well, because the exact second Barry came again in Caitlin's mouth, the door opened up and Ralph walked in. His eyes widened as he saw what was going on. 

He blinked and then turned around and shut the door. Barry groaned. “That couldn't have been worse.”

&^&

“Uh, Ralph, we so need to talk.” Iris spoke.  
Cisco looked up from his computer desk to see Ralph walk quickly away from Iris.  
“No, no, I got it, Iris. You don't need to tell me what was going on!” Ralph groaned, not really needing to walk in on his friends during any kind of sexual stuff. He made a lot of jokes, but he had plenty of honor.

“What's going on?” Cisco asked.  
“Nothing.” Ralph spoke and continued to hurry away from Iris.

He made it around the corner towards the elevator when Caitlin shot up out of the ground from a blast of cold mist. Ralph yelped, cold was his biggest weakness, besides acid, something even he knew about rubber and his body was now essentially rubber.

Caitlin spoke firmly. “Ralph. We need to talk to you.”

“I'm not going to say anything!” Ralph groaned. “Why do you need to talk to me?!”

Iris frowned. “We believe you, but we just need to make sure you understand why we're doing this to Barry.”

Caitlin spoke. “He got extreme Priapasm from the lightning strike.”

Ralph winced. “Okay. Even I know what that is, and Ow.” 

“Yes. So, we're doing everything we can to make sure he recovers without problems. And that includes what you saw us do.” Iris spoke.

“Okay, I mean, that does explain a lot, honestly. I totally understand now.” Ralph spoke.

“Yes. Exactly. So, as strange as what you saw was, it's us trying to help him.” Caitlin spoke.

“Well, I mean, as long as he doesn't want me to help him.” Ralph grinned.

Iris laughed. “No, he most certainly wants you to stay far away from his crotch.”

“That is something I do not want to see again, no.” Ralph nodded.

&^&

Barry looked up as Iris and Caitlin walked into the room. “Okay. That's all fixed.” Caitlin spoke.  
“Now as long as Nora doesn't drop by.” Barry frowned.

“Yeah, that's not something you want to traumatize your daughter with.” Iris grinned.  
“Oh, indeed. I'm glad she's out training with Wally.” Barry spoke.  
“You left a message telling her Barry was hurt, right?” Caitlin asked.  
“Yes.” Iris spoke.

Caitlin moved her hand down to restart what she was doing to Barry earlier. Barry closed his eyes and groaned happily as Caitlin began to stroke his cock. 

“So, what's this I hear about Barry being struck by lightning earlier today?” Oliver Queen spoke as he walked into the room. A split-second later, he saw what was going on. “And now I see I stepped into a porno, so I'll come back later.” He walked right back out.  
Barry winced. “Awkward.”

There was a sudden rush of movement into the room. “Holy Shrap! I am so glad you're okay, Dad.”  
Nora spoke.

Caitlin looked at where her hand was, and turned red.  
Iris froze in surprise at Nora's sudden appearance.

“I got the message just a few seconds ago, showed it to Wally, and rushed here. I was worried about going up like Eobard did when Eddie shot himself.” Nora spoke.

It was then that Nora saw Caitlin's red face. “Caitlin, are you okay?” Nora frowned.  
Nora's eyes then trailed down slightly and her eyes widened in shock. “AHHHHHH! I DID NOT NEED TO SEE MY DAD'S PENIS! Let alone with Caitlin's hand on it! AHHH! My eyes! MY EYES! Also, I slept with Caitlin in the future, so AHHH!” 

She ran out of the room continuing to scream.

Barry winced.”Well, that could have only gone worse if Eobard showed up to make fun of my dick or something.”

Cisco came running to the door and blinked. “Damnit! Barry, put some pants on, man. You are not Dr. Manhattan!”

Barry groaned. “God, why have you done this to me?”  
“I blame Eobard?” Caitlin frowned.

“Yes. Let's blame him.” Barry groaned again.

&^&

“Yeah, honey, Barry seems to be fine. Although, I did not need to see him naked.” Oliver chuckled into his phone.

Felicity laughed. “Wow. Okay, was he changing his clothing at like normal speed or something?”  
“No. I basically walked in on something straight out of a porno.” Oliver spoke and shook his head. 

“Oh my God, wow. I cannot believe Barry gets struck by lightning again and convinces Iris to have sex with him in a hospital bed.” Felicity laughed. “Let alone, with all their friends nearby.”

“Wasn't Iris, but she was there, and looking happy at where Caitlin's hand was.” Oliver spoke.

Felicity whistled. “Wow. Barry has gotten a lot braver since I dated him.”

 

“Yeah, honey, I would say so.” Oliver chuckled. “So, how weird would it be if I wanted a threesome with Black Siren?”   
“Oliver, don't do cocaine. It's bad.” Felicity laughed.  
“I've done cocaine, it's exactly like Scarface showed it as.” Oliver spoke.   
“Right, ruin my joke.” Felicity chuckled.

&^&

15 minutes later...

“You decent?” Oliver knocked on the door from the outside.  
“Yes. Everyone has left! I have like Super Priapasm.” Barry groaned.

“Ouch. Okay, that does explain things.” Oliver winced and adjusted his pants slightly as he felt sympathy pain for Barry. 

Oliver opened the door and saw Barry holding a pillow over his crotch. “This is freaking annoying, Oliver! I'm about ready to ask for Eobard's help. That's how annoying this is.”

“Wouldn't traumatizing Eobard for life be the worst idea ever?” Oliver grinned.

“I don't know, I think there's something in the super-villain rulebook about treaties with the hero during this type of pain.” Barry groaned. “I mean, what the hell, Oliver, why is this happening? I'm getting really freaking annoyed.”

“I don't blame you.” Oliver spoke.  
“At least you got more ladies in your life who could help you.” Barry grinned.

“Haha. I mean, yeah, you're not wrong.” Oliver grinned. He knew that some of the women in his life most certainly would help him out if he needed it like this, and Felicity, well, she'd just watch and make sure the women weren't having too much fun. 

Barry looked at his hands. “We sure do live interesting lives, don't we?”   
“Yeah.” Oliver nodded.

“Well, hopefully this goes away. Also, in case you saw a purple blast of energy awhile ago, my time-traveling daughter from the future walked in on us after you did.” Barry groaned.

“Yep. I think you broke the time-line again.” Oliver grinned.  
“No, this time she did.” Barry groaned. “I'll explain that more later when I'm not busy being in pain.”

“Should I shoot you in the dick with an arrow?” Oliver grinned.

“No thanks! I know it will heal, but still, kind of need it for right now!” Barry laughed at the absurdity of Oliver's suggestion.

“Okay, well, I'm going to go now. You recover, without surprising people.” Oliver nodded.  
“If you see Felicity, you can ask her if Iris made good on her promise to call her for help.” Barry grinned.

Oliver shook his head. “Hold on, this is not an episode of Wife Swap, and no, I don't watch it, damnit, I just heard about the show.”

“Are you sure you've not watched it?” Barry smirked.  
Oliver smirked. “I can't reveal all my secrets, or all of Felicity's secrets.”

“Hey, you know, you're not the only ones to watch porn together.” Barry smirked.

“From what I saw earlier, I can safely agree with that one.” Oliver nodded.  
“Well, I'll go back to being in pain now.” Barry frowned.

Oliver nodded and left the room.

&^&

The next day...

“Hey, you're back to your normal pants wearing self, I see.” Cisco grinned.  
Barry walked over to Cisco and messed up his hair. “Wise guy. I'm only better because I have a great wife.” 

“Yeah, I'll say.” Cisco grinned.

Barry rolled his eyes. “I'm just glad I'm so much better now.”

“I would not wish that on anyone.” Cisco frowned.

“No, it's not fun to literally be in pain from being too happy to see your wife.” Barry grinned.

“Nora is only less traumatized now.” Caitlin spoke as she appeared out of the floor from an ice mist.  
“I'm just glad I didn't really walk in on anything too crazy.” Cisco smiled.

Barry laughed. “Yeah. I really don't want you to help me out with this problem.” 

“Good, because I do not like you like that. Now, Snart....” Cisco trailed off.  
Caitlin laughed.

The End?

**Author's Note:**

> What? You can't tell me that Caitlin and Iris would let Barry suffer. :P   
> Also, Oliver totally is going to tease Barry.


End file.
